A multitude of views are recorded when couples are interviewed about their sex lives and relationships. It is often found that while women are more concerned about the way they look and how they react to their partners’ moves (including women’s need to fake orgasms), men worry more about things like performance. It is safe to assume that all of us have sexual insecurities. So, what can be done about insecurity?
Often when we speak of families and family history, we talk genetics, traditions and inheritance of all kinds. Somehow our relationship by blood or otherwise to a clan is supposed to help us identify our place in the universe. So there's family medical history, family culture, family traditions of food and career. But sexuality? A family history that focuses on sexuality? What would that even mean?
In the debates around the need to expand the rights that accrue through marriage to same-sex couples, what is often lost are the forms of legal recognition of relationships not in the nature of marriage or blood. As the nature of traditional relationships changes across India, with more people opting to live singly or with friends, we really need to begin thinking seriously about new forms of legal recognition.
What exactly does being ‘comfortable with your sexuality’ mean? From a young age, all children, especially girls, are taught about specific ‘values’, and how we all need to behave in a certain manner or else we’re being ‘inappropriate’. However, I think the term ‘inappropriate’ simply means, “You should be ashamed of your body and should only think about concealing yourself”. And then our teachers and elders and others around us expect us to be automatically comfortable with our sexuality and with how we look, all the while trying to control us and impose their ideas on us.
"How different it would be if for a moment health care providers could feel what we feel when we go to a hospital and are challenged..." And so, the women sex workers of RedTraSex (Network of Women Sex Workers from Latin America and the Caribbean) developed Ponte en Nuestros Zapatos (re-edited 2015). Now, reaching out to a wider community, is the brand new English version Walk in our Shoes: Good Practices Guide for Health Care Staff (2016, translated by Alejandra Sardá-Chandiramani). Yes, it is so brand new that it is not up on their website as yet, though we have permission to use it here.